So I'm out there mowing our front lawn and I take a little break for some water. I left the front gate open (our lawn has a fence around it), come back and find two young deer busily making for the tomato plants. I clap my hands and shout at them as if they are cats. But they are not cats, they are nearly 100-pound animals with large sharp hooves. So they begin to panic. One deer is wise and realizes he can leap, jumps over the fence and scurries away. The other deer decides he is a squirrel and tries to scurry under the fence, gets himself jammed in and starts freaking out. Realizes this a bad idea and so backs out, begins to run frantically in circles in our very small front yard with me in the middle about to get disemboweled by a deer. In panic mode, he apparently is unable to realize the gate is wide open. Headlines flash through my head: "Newspaper editor killed by crazed deer; most humiliating death ever!" Finally the deer realizes the gate is open, hurtles through it and takes off.
Mere moments later, I resume mowing the lawn. I see a small, foot-long or so garden snake caught in panic who's heading the direction I'm mowing. I reach down to save him, nature lover that I am. The snake bites me.
The moral of the story is, nature sucks. I'm paving over the lawn tomorrow.