The best eight years of my life

On February 18, 2004, we welcomed a new addition to our house. Today, Peter's a whopping EIGHT years old, which seems impossible to believe. But what an amazing little man we've created!

Happy birthday, Peter!

Sir Peter Siddell, 1935-2011

My father-in-law Sir Peter Siddell died peacefully Monday, nearly three years after being diagnosed with an incurable brain tumor, and nearly two months to the day since his beloved wife Sylvia passed away.

To say 2011 has been a tough year for our family would be an understatement. To lose two parents, two grandparents, in less than 8 weeks is the kind of thing I hope nobody has to go through. The deaths were not surprises -- in many ways, we've been preparing for them for several years now. The year has been filled with slow declines, fading away and too many vigils, hospital visits and emergencies to count. There hasn't been a lot of time for blogging, or whatever passes for ordinary life.

Now all that's over. But it really is going to take us a terribly long time to get "over" losing Peter and Sylvia. I'm apparently going to be speaking at Sir Peter's funeral in Auckland Monday, and one of the things I will mention is how unceasingly welcome he was to this strange American joining his family, dragging his daughter around the USA and eventually bringing her home again.

Sir Peter was one of New Zealand's most famous painters, and it's a great comfort that he lived long enough to see his work recognized -- a wonderful coffee-table book of his art came out this year. And the family has a tremendous legacy left behind of his distinctive, uniquely Kiwi work.

Passed almost unnoticed this week was that it's been exactly five years since we moved back to New Zealand. We didn't know then what we'd be dealing with, or that our son would have such a short time with his New Zealand grandparents. But I'm still glad we've been here for it, that we were able to be a part of their lives and that my wife and her sister were so supportive in their final days.

We don't always know what kind of family we'll get when we marry someone. I was extraordinarily lucky and honored to be part of this one as long as I was.

More on Sir Peter's passing from local media:

* New Zealand Herald

* TVNZ

* Auckland Art Gallery

* Artists NZ

* Beattie's Book Blog

* Siddell Art

Sylvia Siddell, 1941-2011

"Max Taming The Furies," Sylvia Siddell, circa 1999

...My mother-in-law, and a wife, mother, grandmother, artist. She will be missed.

'The Art of Peter Siddell' takes flight

So Thursday night finally marked the official launch of my father-in-law Sir Peter Siddell's massive coffee table art book of his life's work, The Art of Peter Siddell.

It is no exaggeration on my part to say my father-in-law is one of New Zealand's most respected living painters. I chose a good family to marry into, as both of Avril's parents and her sister and brother-in-law are all acclaimed artists. I remember when I first met my wife's father more than a decade ago now and I was telling him I thought a big book of his paintings would be wonderful to see sometime. It's been very good of the kind folks at Random House to work so diligently to bring this project to fruition. It's a highly handsome tome -- hey, it's even got paintings of my wife and son in it (and a photo of some disreputable blogger/journalist American expatriate in the introduction as part of a family portrait). The book's been getting some very kind notices and press (special kudos to Beattie's Book Blog which has given it multiple plugs).

Thursday night was special, because nearly 100 people came out to the invitation-only event for Sir Peter at Parson's bookshop, longtime family and friends.

It's no hyperbole to say it's been a rather rough couple of years for our family down here. I've written, sparingly and out of respect for the family's privacy, of Sir Peter's battle with a brain tumour he was diagnosed with in 2008. He is still with us, perhaps slower than once before, but doing far better than anyone would've predicted more than two years ago when we got the diagnosis. But my wife's mum, Sylvia Siddell, has also had an extraordinarily hard time of it lately with her own cancer diagnoses, including multiple painful surgeries. She was actually in hospital just this week for a spell and got out just in time to be able to attend the book launch. Even Sir Peter's sister, my wife's aunt, has been ailing and in hospital (at one point this week my wife's mum and aunt were in the same hospital ward opposite each other). At times like these when you start to feel like a plague of locusts might be around the bend, the support of so many friends and supporters of Peter's art is a mighty thing.

Seek out the book if you get a chance -- it's an impressive testament to one artist's imagination, vision and peerless skill over nearly 50 years of work. And I'm not just saying that because he's my father-in-law.

Five-sentence Friday

1. This is super-duper cool, and it's great to see my father-in-law Sir Peter Siddell's art career anthologised in one huge hefty package, coming in early 2011 -- I've seen the proofs and the book looks fantastic!

2. Keith Richards' autobiography "Life" makes for entertaining reading, although a bit too rambling, it's got a remarkable story to tell and he holds little back; great insights into his relationship with Mick Jagger to be found here though.

3. Some band called U2 is playing just down from the road to us this week on their 360 tour, and I'm just not quite huge enough a U2 fan to spring for tickets -- but it turns out we didn't need to, as the concert, also including opening act Jay-Z, was quite loud and audible from our house 3km away, so we pulled out lawn chairs and blankets and sat on our front lawn last night for a live U2 show, without even having to leave our driveway!

4. The Pike River mining tragedy has obviously dominated New Zealand news for the past week, and while we all feared the worst, we hoped for the best; a distinct sting to the situation was added by the fresh memory of the recent Chilean miner rescue miracle, but unfortunately the NZ mine was a completely different type of mine and situation and such a happy outcome seemed unlikely from the start. My sympathies and good thoughts remain with the families of the Pike River 29.

Happy birthday, Dad!

Happy birthday to my dear old dad, who turns 70 today.

Birthdays are one of the times I really feel the distance of being on the other side of the world from my family, unfortunately, but with the Internet and phone we do what we can. I still remember him coming home from work when I was a kid, wearing his Air Force uniform, his keys jingling. The smell of Brut aftershave always reminds me of my Dad.

Ever since I had a boy of my own the immensely hard job of being a dad has been revealed to me more and more each day. It's a job that you don't apply for, but it's harder in its way than any other job you'll have. It humbles the heck out of you as you discover all the things you'll do wrong, but it also has moments of the highest pristine clarity that will become the highlights of your life. Working in the media I am sadly exposed every day to huge screw-up wastes of fatherhood who abandon, abuse and hurt their kids, and I know I'm doing better than all of them.

My dad taught me much of the best of what I do. We've had our disagreements as all fathers and sons do, but they've haven't been that bad. Moving down here 6000 miles away four years ago, one of the hardest things was knowing I'd be so far away from my own family, and with the only grandson too. My parents have always supported every move I've ever made, and we haven't actually really lived in the same town for long in 20 years now. But there's a lot of difference between a few hours' drive and an ocean.

Happy Birthday to you Dad, and thanks again for all the good lessons.

The knight stuff

You don't have to bow to me, but I am now a son-in-law of a knight.

My father-in-law Peter Siddell is, it's fair to say, one of New Zealand's most acclaimed living painters, and a while back he was given New Zealand's highest accolade from our Honours System for it. But now he gets another bell to add -- NZ has recently reinstated knighthoods and dameships (dameries? dameness?) after a 10-year hiatus when they were replaced by the equally honorable but perhaps less cool-sounding Distinguished Companion of New Zealand Order of Merit. So instead of being a DCNZM, he will become "Sir" Peter -- a little spiffier, I think. There will be a special ceremony down in Wellington later this month for the 70 or so New Zealanders being named Sirs and Dames.

There's been an ongoing debate as to whether or not knighthoods are somewhat outmoded in modern New Zealand. Former Prime Minister Helen Clark abolished them back in 2000 before the new Prime Minister John Key brought them back. It's a valid question as to whether calling folks "Sir" is really appropriate in the year 2009, or a rather outmoded reminder of class elitism. New Zealand has come a long way from the "mother country" and while the Queen is still our head of state, monarchism is definitely on the wane. Few imagine we or Australia will still be part of the British empire in another 50 years. Knighthoods are admittedly a link to the past and do put some off; kiwi actor Sam Neill turned it down, saying it was "too grand by far."

But speaking personally, for our family, it's been very rewarding to have Sir Peter honoured with a knighthood at this time -- as I've been blogging about sporadically the past year, my father-in-law was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer last year. He has been doing very well with treatment and is hanging in there, but a knighthood is a very nice boost for all of us right now. It may not mean one gets to order about the serfs or anything but it's just a kind of cool recognition to have. There's certainly a bit of a global cachet to saying "Sir" that doesn't come with "DCNZM" at the end of your name. In the end, I have to guess my opinion on to knight or not knight is, what does it hurt?

Being a knight in 2009 isn't much like it was in the old days; nobody gets a horse or a castle anymore and the sword is only ceremonial - but, whatever you want to call it, the notion of people being honoured for their service to the country is a good one, whether it be in art or law or Maori culture or sport. After all, the US has its own Presidential Medals of Freedom.

Apparently, though, according to the byzantine code that governs the use of titles and their honorifics, as the son-in-law of a knight I still cannot call myself Lord Nik, or even Squire Nik. I feel this should be changed.

Random thoughts on Borg, Jedi and Twitti

When you start off a Monday morning with a migraine so bad you think your eyeballs are going to explode, it's never a good sign.

Ah well. Random links and short musings then:
• A nice profile appeared in the Sunday Star-Times of my father-in-law Peter Siddell and his ongoing experience with a brain tumour. I'm inclined to bag on my fellow journalists more often than not but other than a few errors this story is pretty good, I think it captures his voice well. And they managed to spell my wife's name correctly, which is always a plus.

• I have rediscovered the joy of "Star Trek" thanks to the new movie, and the swell "Fan Collective" series of DVD box sets which are perfect for the non-obsessive fan like me, offering a nice sampler of 20 or so episodes spread amongst the five series and organized by themes such as "Borg," "Time Travel" and "Klingons." I like a lot of "Trek" but freely admit even the best of series had its share of duds and am not interested in mammoth 7-season box sets, so these "Fan Collectives" are an awesome way to get my "Trek" fix without breaking the budget. Heck, I even found an episode of the hugely mediocre "Enterprise" on there that wasn't half-bad!

• ...I am sad to see that it seems like a lot of blogs I like to read have gone dark in favour of Twitter apparently. I don't want to be the grouchy old guy going on about the newfangled technology, but I have to admit I'm just not into Twitter. The forced minimalism doesn't appeal to me. Hell, I can barely keep my blog posts below 1400 words, let alone 140 characters! Anyway, although there's little reward sometimes in this bloggin', I guess I'll keep bloggin' away in the old media for a while... "Follow" me if you will! (And yeah, that's why I'll soon have Google Ads on the site.)

• So it was 10 years ago today that "Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace" (whew!) opened. Hard to believe, harder still that a movie went from being so hugely anticipated to so hugely maligned in just a decade. I admit it's not a great flick, although curiously 5-year-old Peter digs all the prequels (except "Episode III" which is a little intense for him). We stood in line up at Lake Tahoe to watch it on opening day and according to my journal entry of the time, "fantastic movie." I guess the disappointment took a while to set in, or perhaps it's the nature of fan obsessions to curdle a bit in the light of time. I wonder if part of the failure of the prequels to take is that they were viewed by 20- and 30-somethings who watched the originals as kids and who couldn't get into the same mindset again? But then I remember Jar Jar Binks and Jake Lloyd and pidgin-Asian speaking aliens and think again. It did have Liam Neeson and Darth Maul going for it, though, and 10 years on I still remember the thrill when Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon zip on their lightsabers for the first time. Give Lucas another few years, maybe he'll release a "reimagined" "Phantom Menace" that cuts down on the flaws.

The cards we are dealt

...I haven't written a lot the last few months about my father-in-law, who some might remember took ill back around Christmas. Since then, he's been diagnosed with brain cancer and has been undergoing a combination of chemo and radiation therapy. Peter Senior has dealt with this with a remarkable combination of courage and stamina I think. He and my mother-in-law (and my wife and her sister as well) have been dealt a very hard blow these past months and it is a big, hulking thing to have to think about. The support of family and friends has been invaluable for everyone.

It occupies my thoughts often enough that I need to at least mention it now and again. I don't want to turn this into "the cancer blog," nor is it truthfully my right to do so. But I figured it might be time for a brief update. At this point, nothing is certain but he is doing fairly well all things considered. There are many things that change when you have cancer in the family -- it's a strange new dark thing for me and my wife to have to deal with. I have been incredibly fortunate up until now to have minor family bouts -- a spell of prostate cancer, that sort of thing -- that, cross fingers, have been treatable. Treatment for brain tumours is changing all the time and so far Peter Sr has responded very well to treatment, far better than the horror stories you sometimes associate with it. We don't know what the coming year holds -- but then again, does anyone?

But it certainly does put a spin on our decision to move over to New Zealand, with little Peter, 2 1/2 years ago now -- and makes us very glad we're here, where each new birthday celebrated and visit has taken on a slightly more important tone to us. I take things for granted every single day, but am trying to do so just a little less.

The update

OK, well, my father-in-law had surgery yesterday to remove as much of the brain tumour as possible, and it went well enough -- he's alive, he's coherent and happy to still be around. As for what lies ahead, we'll see -- he's going to be in hospital for a while, of course, and a lot hinges on what the biopsy tells about the tumour and if chemotherapy, etc. are needed. But we've crossed a major hurdle, and glad to have done it.

Needless to say it's been stressful on us all, there's been a lot of zipping to the hospital and young kids to look after and so forth. Thanks to those who have expressed kind thoughts here, on Facebook and through emails, Avril and I muchly appreciate it. This is the first of any of our parents to face such a life-threatening situation, and as those of you who've gone through know, it isn't easy. I'll attempt to get back to the light-hearted pop culture type posts as well in coming days, but obviously, we'll still be thinking a heck of a lot about Granddad Peter and hope he's OK.

Reality interlude

...It's been a bad week, and while I like to refrain from getting too personal and confessional on this blog, I do need to at least take a moment to talk about what's going on right now with us.

On Friday, my father-in-law was admitted to hospital after an apparent stroke. He was later diagnosed with a brain tumour. At this point, we don't know a lot other than it's on the large side and needs to be gotten out right away. He's having surgery later this week, and as you can imagine, we're all a little freaked out and things are intense right now. It's all come rather out of nowhere, and it's amazing how quickly things can change.

None of us are really religious, but that doesn't mean good thoughts don't count, so all I can say is if you can spare a few for us, we appreciate it. Obviously I may not be doing too much posting for a spell. Thanks for reading.

30 Days of Bloggery: Friday Night Music Video

Yes he can!

30 Days of Bloggery: Friday

So you may recall that I usually work 6am-4 pm, four days a week. I've gotten used to the whole waking up at 5 a.m. thing but now that we've moved a lot closer to my work, in the interest of being a buff and fit fellow I'm trying to walk the 3k (about 1.9 miles) most days. Which wouldn't be a hassle except that it can be tough to wake up throw on clothes wash face head out door for a half-hour walk right at crack o'dawn, I'm finding. I usually wake up about halfway through the walk if my iPod plays something jazzy.

On shuffle 5.25 this a.m.: "19th Nervous Breakdown," Rolling Stones. Oh yeah.

Beautiful sunrises, too.

• Congratulations to my father-in-law, painter Peter Siddell who earlier this week was named a Distinguished Companion of the New Zealand Order of Merit -- it's one of the annual New Year's Honours and a huge accomplishment, basically the equivalent of what a knighthood once was. To put it in perspective, he was one of only five people in the entire country to get the gong this go-round, courtesy of the Queen of England herself!