THE WEEK OF LISTS: 20 Reasons Why 'Point Break' is the finest action movie of our time
So this week is the week in which all my posts will be in the form of lists. Why? Well, it's August, it's hot, and by gum we all need to do something novel to keep sane.
Thus, to begin, Avril and I were inspired last night when dull Saturday TV yielded re-watching perhaps the finest movie ever made about an FBI agent going undercover to stop bank-robbing surfers...
Top 20 Reasons 'Point Break' is cinematic art1. Keanu Reeves IS... Johnny Utah, FBI agent. There has never been a finer character name.
2. Patrick Swayze as bedraggled, hair-product abusing zen hippie Bodhi, surf guru, "searcher" and bank robber extraordinaire.
3. It's John C. McGinley, cranky wisecracking authority figure Dr. Cox from TV's "Scrubs," as... cranky wisecracking authority figure FBI boss Ben Harp!
4. Johnny Utah: "I caught my first tube this morning, sir."
5. Gary Busey, insane as all hell, as Keanu's partner FBI agent and budding psychosis case.
6. The bank robbers dress up as "ex-Presidents" in rather creepy rubber masks.
7. This yields perhaps one of the coolest images ever captured on film, "Ronnie Reagan" as bank robber lighting a gas station on fire to escape his pursuer.
8. A weirdly masculine Lori Petty as perhaps the least sexy love interest ever. Her part in the sequel will be played by a leftover carpet sample.
9. The Red Hot Chili Peppers cameo to beat up Keanu!
10. Bodhi: "Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true."
11. Random lawn mower face-threatening violence!
12. Bodhi: "100 percent pure adrenaline!"
13. During an exciting foot chase sequence, an angry pit bull is thrown at Johnny Utah.
14. On the far-out Internets, you can find an entire awesome essay about Utah and Mormon church references and subtexts in "Point Break." And it's amazingly obsessive: "...the scenes with Supervising Agent Ben Harp comprise 372 lines of the script's total 6623 lines (5.6%)."
15. Because if you go to the IMDB, there are actually credited cast members with character names like 'Surf Rat,' 'Freight Train,' 'Fiberglass' (!?!?) 'Psycho-Stick,' and 'Passion for Slashin.'
16. Johnny Utah: "Vaya con dios," perhaps the single goofiest kiss-off line to a villain in film history.
17. Johnny Utah skydives... without a parachute.
18. Keanu falls to the ground, rolls about and screams his incoherent rage up to the sky … not once, not twice, but in THREE different scenes!
19. Ben Harp: "Special agent Utah! This is not some job, flipping burgers at the local drive-in! Yes! - your surf board bothers me! Yes! - your approach to this whole damn case bothers me! And yes! - YOU BOTHER ME!"
20. Courtesy of the IMDB, Matthew Broderick was originally offered the role of Johnny Utah. Which really would have been an entirely different movie.