Saturday, July 24, 2004

The Catwoman movie has been the official Internet whipping boy of 2004 for some time now, with poisonous buzz and word-of-mouth. Before you ask, I'm not going to see it in the theatres, and if I see it on video it will be merely to meet my negative reviews quota. Because of my failings as a reviewer, I present to you this nifty little compendium of quotes about the cinematic stylings of "Catwoman," from the good folks at metacritic:

• Dallas Observer / Gregory Weinkauf:
Much like a cat, the movie is a superfluous gob of fluff with an attitude ranging from idiotic to nasty.
• Boston Globe / Wesley Morris:
Watching [Berry] run around in that getup I felt embarrassed, the way I do for people who put on makeup before climbing a StairMaster -- it's too much.
• Washington Post / Desson Thomson:
It goes down (and comes back up) like a hairball.
• Chicago Sun-Times / Roger Ebert:
The director, whose name is Pitof, was probably issued with two names at birth and would be wise to use the other one on his next project.
• Chicago Tribune / Robert K. Elder:
The "Showgirls" of superhero movies. This is not a compliment.
• The Globe and Mail (Toronto) / Rick Groen:
[Pitof's] managed to create an entire digitalized city that has all the allure of an underground parking garage. And his action, it's cluttered; his editing, it's confused. The result: blandness butchered, hamburger chopped, kitty littered.

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