Wednesday, January 4, 2006

MUSIC: Do the iPod shuffle!

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Tonight's exercise bike iPod shuffle, which achieved near-Nirvana (but no Nirvana tracks played for me, ba-da-bump!).

The Bleeding Heart Show - The New Pornographers
Beetlebum - Blur
Shadowplay - Joy Division
Down Under - Men At Work
The Way I Am - Eminem
Sometimes - Erasure
Home - Iggy Pop
World In My Eyes - Depeche Mode

...And best of all, although I didn't lose any weight over the holidays, I did maintain at a steady 188 or so. The goal: 180 or less by 2007!

BOOKS: What I Read, 2005 wrap-up


The final chapter... Back in January I decided I'd chronicle here every book I read this year (not counting comics, graphic novels, etc.) and write something about it. It was an interesting exercise, and I think I'll keep it up in some form in 2006, if not in these rather lengthy monthly recaps. Forcing yourself to write a bit about every book you read might smell of book-report flashbacks, but it actually helped strain the ol' brain muscles a bit and made me think about the books I was reading in new ways. It was worth doing.

The grand total for 2005, then, was 90 books read*, 10 of them coming in December (I read a few short books this month). That's not bad for an overworked journalist/father to rampaging toddler/blogger/husband with very little life, I guess. The breakdown of what I read, just to get even more geekily methodical:
Nonfiction: 52
Fiction: 27
Essays: 7
Short stories: 4
I felt like I had been reading more nonfiction lately -- I've been on a big biography and history kick -- but didn't realize it was by that much! The real world is endlessly interesting to me these days, though, as I feel like I can never "know it all" -- and I read barrel loads of fiction in years past, anyway.
And to wrap it all up, here's a few capsule reviews of December's readin':

“Presidential Campaigns” by Paul Boller. A detail-filled look at presidential politicking from Washington to Bush that includes lots of historical trivia as elections evolved from casual affairs where it was unthinkable for candidates to directly campaign to today's multimedia million-dollar races.

“How We Are Hungry,” short stories by Dave Eggers. Eggers' fiction is too self-consciously quirky and clever for some, but I like the naked edge and passion he brings to his writing. This collection has hits and misses (several short-short fiction pieces are just decorative filler), but there's a handful of tightly wound observational, vivid classics too, such as "Climbing To The Window, Pretending To Dance," about a suicidal friend, or "Up The Mountain Coming Down Slowly," a tale of a doomed trek up Mount Kilimanjaro.

“33 1/3: R.E.M.'s Murmur” by J Niimi. Yet another of those tiny 33 1/3 music chapbooks I like to enthuse over. This one tackles R.E.M.'s classic Southern Gothic debut with a sprawling multi-part song-by-song critique, band history, art criticism and a look at listening theory itself in this tidy book. Niimi gets lost in the fog of "critic-speak" a few too many times for my taste, but definitely provides a lot of food for thought and made me think in new ways about "Murmur" (about which the sum of my thinking has always been more or less, "gee, that sounds mysteriously cool").

After watching the new "Narnia" movie, I felt inspired to re-read the series I hadn't checked out in years. I'll do a post on my adult impressions of them when I'm done, but in December I re-read C.S. Lewis's "Prince Caspian" "Voyage of the Dawn Treader" and "The Silver Chair." You can get all the Narnia books in one book these days apparently but I still have the single ones I had as a kid.

"Strange Red Cow: And Other Curious Classified Ads From The Past" by Sara Bader. A very cool esoteric book, with a review forthcoming for Blogcritics I will also print here.

"King Of The World: Muhammad Ali And the Rise of an American Hero" by David Remnick. I got onto a boxing kick this month, watching the great documentary "When We Were Kings" about the Ali-Foreman '74 "Rumble in the Jungle." Then I picked up this excellent book at the library, which focuses on Ali's early career in fluid, elegant prose. Something about good writing about boxing really appeals to my couch potato non-combative self, and Remnick really captures the sweaty, gladiatorial combat of it all. He etches fine portraits of three black boxers -- Ali, Sonny Liston and Floyd Patterson -- and makes them all unforgettable, tragic heroes. Highly recommended stuff.

"Throwim' Way Leg: Tree-Kangaroos, Possums, and Penis Gourds - On The Track of Unknown Mammals in Wildest New Guinea" by Tim Flannery. Now that is a title. As mentioned a while back, loving wife gave this to me for Christmas, and it's really pretty cool. I love natural history books, and this guy Flannery braved unimaginable hardship to explore New Guinea, one of the last "lost horizons" and home to forbidding lands and rare species. A combination of biology, exploration and humor, it's a great read, with nicely gory trivia you can share with your friends. (And you learn all about what "penis gourds" are!)

"The Truth (With Jokes)" by Al Franken. Preaching to the converted, of course, but Franken's liberal manifestos are good reading in this Age of Bush. In this one, he gives a fiery response to the 2004 campaign and what he calls the Bush strategy of "fear, smears and queers." You either agree with the man or you don't, obviously. Not life-changing reading (Franken has this oddly arrogant tone a lot of the time that distances me a bit), but a breezy, quick affirmation that not everyone rides the Bush train these days.

*And finally, the rest of the year: January, February, March, April, May , June, July, August, September, October, November, amen.

Monday, January 2, 2006

Not what they meant to say at all

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...To give you a hint, the first word on the reader board had said "photography." This is in front of our local arts center on one of Roseburg's major roads. Urk. At least it was creative vandalism...

Sunday, January 1, 2006

LIFE: Happy New Y--*glub glub*


Image hosted by Photobucket.comAnd so 2005 ends like it began -- with a crapload of water and a lot of upset people. Well, the constant rains and flooding we're getting up here in Oregon and most of the west coast in no way compares to the Asian tsunami, obviously, but it's still a lot of water. Been raining nonstop all week, and all the creeks and rivers around here are running at capacity.

There's an apartment complex just down the street from work that flooded yesterday. One of my coworkers, Ginny, and her husband Sean, live there and so yesterday afternoon a whole group of us led an impromptu evacuation party. We had to clear everything out of their very full apartment as water began sneaking in to all the ground-floor apartments in the complex, turning carpets into a soggy swamp. Good times. Fortunately they got most of their stuff out without it getting too wet, but still a hell of a thing to have to go through, and not a fun way to ring in the New Year. As often happens in the newspaper biz, it's meant a lot of scrambling around rearranging packages planned for this weekend and sending reporters and photographers out to run around in the rain.

Image hosted by Photobucket.comThe downtown park where we spent a lot of time this summer is about halfway under water, too. That South Umpqua River in the photo doesn't usually include the trees and sidewalks. I'm just glad our own house in on a hill (as long as it doesn't slide off it!). Check out Patrick's blog for some great before-and-after photos far better than mine showing how this rain has turned out sleepy cricks into raging torrents.

Hope your new year is drier than ours is shaping up!

Saturday, December 31, 2005

YEAR IN REVIEW: Great comics of 2005


OK, one more post in this "year in review" business. I have to admit, 2005 wasn't a great year in comics from my perspective. Some very good stuff, but as a meat-and-potatoes superhero fan, I became increasingly disillusioned by the grab-my-money crossovers the "big two" Marvel and DC indulged in to excess. Some of these weren't bad – "Infinite Crisis" I am enjoying so far – but it does all seem a bit narcissistic, and in their incestuous self-absorbed detail these events certainly don't do much to bring new fans to the medium.

I just likes me a good self-contained superhero story that doesn't try to be the BIGGEST!! EVENT!!! EVER!!!!, but those are hard to find. Fortunately, some great indie comics also came my way this year and provided a bit more filling sustenance. Here's my tops of the year that was:

Image hosted by Photobucket.comBEST GRAPHIC NOVEL: Coming in at the last minute – I just bought a copy over Christmas — is the astounding, groundbreaking French graphic novel "Epileptic" by David B. This hefty 300-plus page black and white tome collects years of work by the French cartoonist, now in a handsome edition translated into English for the first time. It's as far from "Bam! Zap! Pow!" as you can get, a sprawling, mythic family history by David of his life and his older brother's struggles with epilepsy. His brother's illness defines an entire family, as David's parents struggle to find a cure — through science, mysticism, religion, cults and more.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com"Epileptic" defies easy description. It's a coming-of-age tale, an artist's awakening, a family memoir and a meditation on storytelling itself. David's art is deceptive. On first glance, it's primitive and simple. But then you realize the sheer craft that's gone into it. David shifts styles, from thin, sketchy intricate linework, to thick, impressionistic landscapes, each panel with the crisp clarity and strangeness of a woodcut. Reality and imagination flow and shift within each other, as David gives literal form to the illnesses and fears dominating his family's thoughts. It's full of symbolism, yet not in an overly intrusive way. David is open and honest about his own flaws and failures in dealing with his brother. The art is far more than a tool for telling the story – in a lot of ways, it IS the story, shifting and mutating as David's own perspectives change. This may make "Epileptic" sound like a cold exercise, but it's hard to convey the warmth and passion of it, and it has a conclusion that will gently break your heart. Not to get all hyperbolic, but like "Watchmen," like "Maus," like "Jimmy Corrigan," "Epileptic" advances the very medium, changing the way I think about comics and their potential. It's a book that contains endless layers, and it's utterly remarkable. I'm already planning to read it again.

Runner-up: I really liked Alan Moore and Gene Ha's "Top Ten: The 49'ers," but I have to admit I wasn't quite as knocked off my feet by it like I was by the original miniseries. I'll have to read it again and give it another chance; regardless of my opinion, it's top-quality work, though. As was Alex Robinson's "Tricked," an epic tale of six separate lives coming together in one violent moment.

Image hosted by Photobucket.comBEST MINISERIES: "Spider-Man/Human Torch" by Dan Slott and Ty Templeton. I never would have imagined this would be my favorite miniseries of the year – another Spider-Man spinoff? — but damn if Dan Slott didn't craft a loving, hilarious ode to all the things that made Spider-Man my favorite comic character growing up. Over five issues, he traces the rivalry and budding friendship between Spidey and the Fantastic Four's Human Torch, using old stories as building blocks for great "untold tales." Top it all off with an ending that is just perfect and warmed the cockles of this old fanboy's heart, and you've got a classic valentine to the superhero comics of the '60s, '70s and '80s.
Runner-up: "Villains United," the tale of a band of villains working to overthrow an even worse band of villains. Funny, surprising and action-packed, and even if it was part of a big company-wide crossover it actually stood pretty well on its own.

FAVORITE SINGLE ISSUE: "Concrete: The Human Dilemma" #2 by Paul Chadwick. As a follower of Paul Chadwick's saga since it started in 1987, I've grown to really enjoy the characters of Concrete, philosopher-trapped-in-a-stone-body, and his friends as he ambles through a strange life. But this issue blew me away in its surprising change to the status quo, and genuine changes to the character's relationships. By equal turns sad, sexy and thoughtful, it's a remarkable turning point for Concrete. Chadwick's writing is eloquent without being pretentious, and his art continues to be dreamlike and crisp. The rest of this miniseries was nearly as high quality; the only down side for me is the long wait before Chadwick does another one.

Image hosted by Photobucket.comBEST ONGOING SERIES: A tie between Brian K. Vaughn's two great ongoing titles, "Ex Machina" and "Y: The Last Man." Both have "wow, that's a hook" topics – a superhero mayor of New York who intervened on 9-11, saving one of the twin towers; the last man on earth after a plague kills all males – and are handled with a breezy, surprise-filled hand by writer Vaughn. Some argue that "Y," approaching its 50th issue, has gotten stale, but read as a whole it's still a great blockbuster epic about a man in a world of women struggling to survive. "Ex Machina" is less sure-footed sometimes – I find the stories tend to end on flat notes — but boasts great characters and remains hip, topical reading as Vaughn juggles politics, heroics and menace.

BEST NEW SERIES: Sure, "Young Avengers" just sounded godawful, but it's been a pleasant surprise, fizzy teen superheroics with wit, originality and suspense. A throwback to Wolfman and Perez' "Teen Titans" or when "X-Men" comics were actually good, it's solid escapism, not groundbreaking, but rewarding fun.
Runners-up: Dan Slott's "She-Hulk" and "Thing" are a lot of fun too, and "All-Star Superman" by Grant Morrison is wonderful — but none of these books have made it past #2 yet, so I don't want to judge them entirely yet. Also heavily enjoying Brian Wood's "Local" #1-2.

Image hosted by Photobucket.comBEST SUPERHERO BOOK: "Ultimates 2" might be amoral and gleefully cynical, but the gorgeous art by Bryan Hitch and Mark Millar's building sense of apocalypse in the writing give it the weight and kick of a top-notch Hollywood blockbuster. What began as a kind of "realistic" take on the Avengers has turned into a tangled, mean superhero conspiracy, and all the pieces began coming together this year in a series of betrayals and bloodshed. I've always admired "The Ultimates" more than I've loved it, but this year I began to regard this gorgeous, twisted series with some real affection. Looking forward to seeing how it all wraps up in 2006.

BEST REPRINTS: Marvel's Essential line of thick, black-and-white phone books collecting hundreds of pages of classic comics for less than $20 still rocked my world in 2005, with new acquisitions like "Essential Defenders," "Essential Luke Cage" (Sweet Christmas!) and "Essential Marvel Two-In-One." Even better, DC Comics jumped in the game with their own phone books, and the "DC Showcase Superman" and "DC Showcase Jonah Hex" books are great reading (and even better reproduction than the Marvel volumes). Pound-for-pound, these books are the best value in comics today.

Image hosted by Photobucket.comBIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT: "Black Panther" by Reginald Hudlin. Wow, this was bad. The Black Panther, Marvel's first black superhero, is one of those characters I've always liked, and the idea of a revival with a modern edge appealed to me. But Hollywood writer (he did "House Party," which surely means something to someone) Hudlin honestly can barely write a coherent comic book, ignoring any continuity, giving out-of-character portrayals, nonsensical plots and nowhere near a consistent authorial voice or tone. It doesn't feel like the man's written a comic in his life. Attempts at being "hip" and topical were awkward as watching your dad rap. Despite gorgeous art by John Romita Jr., this relaunch was a dismal misfire, not half as good as the previous "Black Panther" series by Priest. I bailed out with #6 and won't return to the Panther until Hudlin's off the book.
Runner-up: The current crossover "The Other" running through the "Spider-Man" titles boasted some intriguing promise, but more than halfway through, it's a stretttttched out, morbid and depressive slog, with only a few glimmers of invention. The plot: Spider-Man gets sick, is beaten up and, well, then he dies. Gee, you think he'll come back, with some radical new changes that'll be undone within a year? If I weren't addicted to Spider-Man like a crack whore, I'd avoid this crossover for sure. Yeah, I'm that sad a fanboy.

Image hosted by Photobucket.comBEST BOOK I DISCOVERED AFTER EVERYONE ELSE DID: The rest of the comics world had been raving about "Street Angel," but it took the collected edition coming out for me to discover it. One of a kind, skateboarding, ninja-kicking, space-pirating, afro-wearing fun. Jesse Sanchez is "Street Angel," a homeless orphan eighth grader and avid skater living in the squalor of the inner city. She's also a butt-kicking superheroine who battles the forces of evil wherever they occur, even if it means she might have to ditch class. With equal amounts wacky humor, high action, pathos and occasionally startling violence, creators Jim Rugg and Brian Maruca tell freewheeling tales of Jesse's adventures. The collection is well worth seeking out, and I hope for more tales soon. (Original review here).

BEST COMIC MOVIE: A tie between "Batman Begins" and "Sin City," each of which were far better and more faithful to their origins than I would've imagined possible.

WORST COMIC MOVIE: I wasted 90 minutes of my life on the bomb "Elektra," which took everything interesting about Frank Miller's character and turned it into Generic Troubled Violent Girl Movie starring a comatose Jennifer Garner. (Full review.)

Image hosted by Photobucket.comBEST CROSSOVER: Yeah, you have mega-crossovers like "House of M" and "Infinite Crisis," but the one this year that's been most fascinating to watch is Grant Morrison's revolutionary "Seven Soldiers," a series of seven (!) four-part miniseries bookended by two specials, loosely interlocking heroic tales all tied together by a vast threatening invasion of Earth. Reviving or reimagining dormant characters like the Manhattan Guardian, Zatanna, The Bulleteer and even the Frankenstein Monster, this stuff has been a blast, packed with Morrison's quantum-sized imagination and scope, full of wondrous little details. The last few parts of the saga finish up in early 2006. It's hard to take it all in, but despite a few missteps here and there, this 30-issue epic is a lolapalooza that puts all other "event comics" to shame.

Happy New Year, all!

Friday, December 30, 2005

LIFE: The Meme of Four


Saw this meme at both Will and ADD's blogs and thought I'd give it a spin:

Four jobs you’ve had in your life: McDonald's cashier monkey for all of 6 weeks, sophomore year of high school (and yes, I got fired, and yes, I'll tell you all about it some time); a drug store prescription delivery driver; copy shop drone (c'mon Lain! let's reminisce about Raouf!); newspaper editor and writer at far too many places to count.

Four movies you could watch over and over: The very first "Star Wars," of course; "Annie Hall"; "Almost Famous"; "The Royal Tenenbaums." Could easily add a dozen more, but those spring to mind first.

Four places you’ve lived: Fairbanks, Alaska; Oxford, Mississippi; New York City; Grass Valley, California

Four TV shows you love to watch:
"Lost"; "Arrested Development"; my DVDs of "Firefly" and "The Young Ones"

Four places you’ve been on vacation:
Europe; the Bahamas; New Zealand; Mexico

Four websites you visit daily: Besides my own blog, he said vainly, I always go to ComicBloggotron3000, your one-stop comic-blogging headquarters, DVDTalk, which boasts a good movie-centric message board, Technorati, the fun PopWatch at Entertainment Weekly.

Four of your favorite foods: Nothing beats peanut butter sammiches; pad thai; albacore tuna; pizza. I am a man of simple and relatively unhealthy tastes.

Four places you’d rather be:
I'm cool with where I'm at today, but in 2006, I predict there will be some changes... (ominious music, theatrical cackle)

Any bloggers reading this, tag, you're it!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

YEAR IN REVIEW: The Top 10 Movies of 2005
(and three that sucked hard)


Let's get back to recapping the year that nearly was, with a look at some of the movie goodness of 2005 from the 50 or so movies I've seen this year (and yes, I have no life).

As always, a caveat — out here in the hinterlands, I haven’t had a chance to see some of the year’s most acclaimed movies yet, so no “Brokeback Mountain,” “Munich” or “Capote” on my list. Here’s my top 10 of what came through our town this year, presented in alphabetical order:

Image hosted by Photobucket.com‘Batman Begins’
Lean, mean and serious as the night itself, this latest revival of the “Batman” franchise was a rare gem in a summer of overblown corn. Kudos to director Chris Nolan for focusing on making us see why a man would dress up as a giant bat and fight crime. In the process, he made Bruce Wayne a believable figure of a boy touched by tragedy who grows up into a man with a whopping case of rage and vengeance. With great work by Christian Bale as a hard-as-nails Batman, and superb supporting turns by a cast of all-stars including Cillian Murphy, Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman. Smart superheroics never seemed so good. (Here's my original post on the movie.)

Image hosted by Photobucket.com‘Crash’
This movie will make you angry. Writer/director Paul Haggis’ sprawling, melodramatic epic follows the lives of a racial panorama of several different people in Los Angeles over 36 hours. It weaves together many story threads, including a racist white cop, an affluent black TV producer, a frustrated Arab store owner and more. We see them at their worst and sometimes, at their best. In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina and America’s ongoing racial divisions, it’s a true movie for our times. Featuring the best performances I’ve ever seen from some of its cast, especially Matt Dillion and Sandra Bullock. It’s a love-it or hate-it movie, intended to fire you up, and it’s unforgettable. (Here's my original post on the movie.)

Image hosted by Photobucket.com‘Elizabethtown’
Flawed and messy and yet sincere as all get-out, “Elizabethtown” was a fairly big critical and commercial flop for director Cameron Crowe. Yet ignore the haters – I think it’s a sweet, heartfelt tale about a young man (Orlando Bloom) battered by failure and death who discovers new life thanks to a quirky, irrepressible girl (Kirsten Dunst). It's Crowe, so it boasts a great pop soundtrack, and isn't afraid to wear its emotions on its sleeve. Not up there with Crowe’s best like “Almost Famous” or “Jerry Maguire,” but if you’re willing to be idealistic, a bit sentimental and ramble along with it, “Elizabethtown” is worth visiting. (Here's my original post on the movie.)

Image hosted by Photobucket.com‘The 40-Year-Old Virgin’
Raunchy sex comedy meets old-fashioned romance, and it’s a match made in heaven. “The Office” star Steve Carell shows strong acting chops as Andy, a socially withdrawn fellow approaching middle age who also turns out to be a virgin. His co-workers make it their mission in life to change that status. Writer/director Judd Apatow walks the line between silly and smart in a rare sex comedy that doesn’t treat its characters with contempt. It's gross, profane and over the top, but it's also a pretty touching romance at the same time. A future classic of its kind.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com‘A History of Violence’
David Cronenberg likes to make viewers uncomfortable. Strange, then, that this one from the director of “The Fly” and “Dead Ringers” might be his most accessible, yet it’s just as unsettling as his other movies. Viggo Mortensen gives an astounding performance as a genial family man and diner owner in small-town Indiana. Tom’s quiet life changes forever when two crazed gunmen stumble into his world, forcing him to make a fateful choice. While on the surface it’s a pulpy, satisfying yarn, Cronenberg also genuinely disturbs you by making you realize that we never truly know what’s inside anybody else’s heart in this life.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com‘King Kong’
Yeah, yeah, it’s three hours long. But don’t let that stop you. Peter Jackson follows up his “Lord of the Rings” triumph with a fanboy’s ode to the 1933 monster movie classic. Few remakes are truly essential, but this one is a loving tribute that combines pulse-pounding action with some truly heartfelt moments. The initial 45 minutes may be slow, but once the movie hits Skull Island, it rockets into overdrive and never lets up. Kong is an astounding creation, as realistic as a 25-foot ape can be, right down to the hairs in his eyelashes. The oddball love between Kong and a radiant Naomi Watts might just be the year’s best love story.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com‘Murderball’
The best documentary of the year. Ever heard of “wheelchair rugby”? It’s a serious sport, played by paraplegic athletes in serious, hardcore competition with souped-up wheelchairs that look like “Mad Max” tanks. This amazing film follows several competitors of the sport as they battle their way to Paralympics gold, and it takes us inside their lives. I’ve never seen a movie more genuine or empathetic toward the handicapped, yet one that treats them with humor and respect. Heartbreaking and intense, it’s the year’s most inspirational movie.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com‘Serenity’
Sure, “Star Wars: Episode III” was pretty good, but for the year’s most thrilling science-fiction adventure, take a gander at this future cult classic by “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” creator Joss Whedon. Based on his short-lived 2002 TV series “Firefly,” it’s a sprawling saga about a crew of space mercenaries that become embroiled in a galactic conspiracy. Filled with action, imagination, grit and wit, “Serenity” soars above the mossy clichés that dominate science fiction, and it’s the best of its kind since the first “Matrix.” For fans of the TV series, “Serenity” was nirvana, but Whedon also makes it all fully accessible to newcomers. Whedon never forgets what George Lucas did with his “Star Wars” prequels — it’s the characters, not the flashy effects, that make a sci-fi epic truly great.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com‘Sin City’
Stylish, shocking and utterly immoral, “Sin City” is a triumph of sheer filmmaking power, and also one of the most intense movies of the year. Based on the dark, brutal comic books by Frank Miller, it's the most spot-on comics adaptation ever. Co-directed by Miller with Robert Rodriguez, it’s a movie that looks like no other – in knife-sharp black and white, with splashes of vivid color, and mean, cruel characters in a world where every man’s a crook and every woman a whore. It’s bleak and incredibly nasty, true, but it’s got raw power and a unique vision behind it.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com‘Walk the Line’
A love story, a rousing musical and an icon’s journey, “Walk The Line” gets at the heart of the late Johnny Cash and his wife June Carter Cash. Joaquin Phoenix evokes cash without just impersonating him, and Reese Witherspoon has the role of her career as the spunky, sturdy June Carter. The basic structure here comes perilously close to biographical cliché — rags to riches to rags to riches again — but Phoenix and Witherspoon’s powerhouse acting sells it. It’s a worthy tribute to the Man in Black. (Here's my original post on the movie.)

Honorable mentions: "Cinderella Man," "Kung Fu Hustle," "Good Night, And Good Luck," "Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith," "Oldboy"

And three of the worst:
‘Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’
There were worse movies this year, but few as disappointing. A pale, limp attempt to capture the wit and snark of Douglas Adams’ sci-fi parody novels. It starts out OK but gradually gets worse and worse, descending into a parade of computer-generated effects and turning into an inane chase movie. It has the moldy feel of a failed “Saturday Night Live” parody from 1987. (Here's my original post on the movie.)

‘Dukes of Hazzard’
Lord, I tried. But I couldn’t even watch the entire movie of this misbegotten TV remake, starring Johnny Knoxville and Seann William Scott, and a bizarrely miscast Burt Reynolds as Boss Hogg. Also featuring Jessica Simpson, who looks nice but is upstaged in acting skills even by the General Lee automobile. The original TV show was trash, too, but in a corny, amiable way. This one piles on the vulgarities and is like watching a truck full of rednecks crash into a manure pile — an ugly, smelly sight.

‘Bewitched’
You may notice a theme here. I’m not filled with hope for the “CHiPS” remake heading to the big screen. This one had the talent — gorgeous Nicole Kidman, funnyman Will Ferrell — but was saddled with a ridiculously self-referential, strained plot. See, it’s a movie about the remake of the TV series “Bewitched,” starring a real witch who doesn’t want to be a witch anymore but she ends up playing a fake witch for “Betwitched.” Get it? Don’t bother.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

LIFE: My two front teeth


Image hosted by Photobucket.comWhat I got for Christmas:

• Lots of nice new shirts and socks, because I must look respectable.
• "Sin City: Recut, Extended Unrated" DVD. Because I was clever/lazy enough to not buy the no-features original DVD released back in August. And because what says Christmas more than multiple decapitations?
• "Fantastic Four" DVD. Because I liked it, darn it.
• "Throwim Way Leg: Tree-Kangaroos, Possums, and Penis Gourds-On the Track of Unknown Mammals in Wildest New Guinea" by Tim Flannery. This is the sort of book my wife gets me. It's actually pretty cool, New Guinea's a strange place.
• Eminem, "Curtain Call: Greatest Hits." Because I am gangsta.
• New slippers!
• "Guided By Voices: The Electrifying Conclusion" DVD courtesy of NZ in-laws, hurray, commemorating the farewell tour I saw most of a show from with a four-hour (urk) concert bacchalanian memento.
• New luggage, courtesy of great parents, especially handy for February's New Zealand jaunt.
• Far, far too much candy for my own good.

Oh yeah, wife Avril and Toddler Peter got lots of stuff, too. And Peter got to ride on grandma's rocking horse! (Estimated time between photo taken and Peter falling off said horse: .000012 second.)

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

...So Christmas cards are kind of a thing of the past, aren't they? I've only gotten two or three this year, and I haven't done one myself in several years. I used to go all out, do these elaborate, hand-drawn or photo-collage cards, trying to top myself every year, but that got old kind of quickly. The thing is, too, these days half my friends I only have their e-mail addresses. We're all too hip to do cards anymore, by gum. When was the last time I actually mailed someone a letter?

But I did want to do something for the faithful Spatula Forum readers as I prepare to leave for a holiday sabbatical until next week. In trolling the Internet, I found this image, which I offer up to you as I bid you a Merry Ho-Ho and all that jazz:
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I'm so sorry.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

YEAR IN REVIEW: My 5 Top CDs of 2005


Oh yes, we're in that time of year again, when all the hipsters and hoodaddies talk about what all they grooved to in the year that's winding down. Over the next couple weeks I'll toss my two cents into the conversation, starting today with a brief look at five CDs I humbly submit as pretty darned good tunes that came out in 2005.

Beck, ‘Guero’
Image hosted by Photobucket.comThe mockingbird is at it again. Pop chamelon Beck has been a hipster, an acoustic tunesmith, a disco diva. Now he’s all of the above and more in this collection of diverse tunes, perfect for riding down the road with the top down in your El Camino. Funky, eclectic and surreal, it combines the best of Beck’s previous record personas to create an anthemic, danceable manifesto. Special bonus, a track-by-track remix companion CD, “Guerolito,” was just released, nearly as good as the original.

Fiona Apple, ‘Extraordinary Machine’
Image hosted by Photobucket.comFiona’s debut back in the mid-1990s was piano-laced angry girl rock. Call this a mature comeback. Her third album got held up by the record company and endless delays, but it was worth the wait. At 28, she’s writing a far more thoughtful, wizened sound, without the pretentious edge that snuck into her earlier work. Her lyrics are cutting, introspective and sharp. These 12 tracks are detailed, piano-driven ruminations on love and self-respect, with Apple’s dark, smoky voice holding sway over it all.

New Pornographers, ‘Twin Cinema’
Image hosted by Photobucket.comDon’t freak out about the name. Despite the dangerous-sounding moniker, this Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada band is a fairly clean-minded, multiple-voiced pop band with sparkling invention and great, cheerfuly caffeinated choruses. Few bands these days let more than one singer have the spotlight, but this band’s got at least three, each with their own spin on the songs — frontman Carl Newman, the country-fied twang of Neko Case, the glam-rock drama of Dan Bejar. Hunt this little-known band down if you’re a fan of inventive, energetic catchy pop tunes.

Spoon, ‘Gimme Fiction’
Image hosted by Photobucket.comThis Austin, Texas, band specializes in smart, poppy rock tunes, and “Gimme Fiction” is their masterpiece to date. You’ve got the Who pop joy of “Sister Jack,” the funky, staccato Prince rhythms of “I Turn My Camera On,” the slinky Echo and the Bunnymen feel of “Monsieur Valentine.” Spoon manages to combine quirky pop sensibilities with a jam band’s love for sheer music nicely, and frontman Britt Daniel has a great swaggering presence, authoritative and yet not too egotistical. A confident, hook-filled treat.

The White Stripes, ‘Get Behind Me Satan’
Image hosted by Photobucket.comThe punk rock blues of the White Stripes’ first few albums undergoes a big shift in this strange, experimental and often brilliant album, which mostly gives up roaring guitar solos for piano-driven juke joint rambles. It’s rough and almost unfinished sounding, yet frontman Jack White’s talent for a melody rings loudly on tunes like the Jackson Five-ish “My Doorbell,” the hoedown “Little Ghost,” or the groovy “Denial Twist.” Perhaps the raw sound is the point. A stripped-down gem from the most interesting two-person band in rock ’n’ roll.

Honorable mention: Franz Ferdinand, “You Could Have It So Much Better”; Wilco, “Kicking Television: Live In Chicago”; The Mountain Goats, “The Sunset Tree”; LCD Soundsystem, “LCD Soundsystem.”