MUSIC: Awful album art

MUSIC: Awful album art

I recently was told about perhaps the finest Web site I've ever seen in my life: showandtellmusic.com. It's a repository of some of the oddest, weirdest, awfulest and ginchiest LP record album art ever – complete with reviews of the records themselves! It faithfully recreates an era long since vanquished by CDs, iPods and mp3s, when hideous album art could be displayed in glorious gigantic sizes. I remember my parents had some mildly amusing albums in their old LP collection, but nothing holds a candle to this stuff.

It includes these fine gems:





And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Go glorify in it.

Sometimes, all you can do is nap.
(Note the hand still reaching to get cheese from the food bowl.)

TV: Hey, it's fall premiere time

TV: Hey, it's fall premiere time

I really don't watch a ton of TV. I mean, there's also DVDs to see, toddlers to play with, wives, books, exercise to all fit into the day as well (I gave up any attempt at a social life the day Baby Peter was born). So for a comprehensive look at the fall TV season, don't expect one here (however, Tom The Dog has been in rare form lately with his excellent TV season blogging). But of the half-dozen shows I watch, here's my impressions of the new season --


My Name Is Earl is the only one of this season's new shows I was interested in seeing, based on great reviews and star Jason Lee ("Almost Famous," "Chasing Amy"), who I always like. Last week's premiere was terrific fun, about a bozo hick small-time criminal who undergoes a crisis of conscience and decides to start making the world a better place. The show's got an offbeat point-of-view and some clever characters, led by the reliable Lee in the lead role. Some great one-liners – "I know this might sound crazy in this day and age, but we live in a small town and I've never been face to face with a gay before. I understand now the runnin' probably wasn't necessary" — and a premise packed with potential mean I'll be coming back for more.

The Office - Like most fans of the BBC series, I was skeptical about a U.S. remake, but in its short run last spring the American version starring Steve Carell wasn't bad at all, albeit different than the original. This one is starting to find its own voice, spinning off in interesting ways and really nailing the laughter vs. cringe factor balance. It's not a comfortable comedy to watch -- last week's season premiere and the "Dundie" awards just made you ache with its spot-on awfulness -- but it's really pretty great and unlike most sitcoms on the air. Give it time and it might catch up to the reputation of its parent.

Arrested Development - It's hard to believe a show this subversive and intelligent has made it to a third season. The premiere last Monday was another layered mini-masterpiece. (How can you not love a show that creates fake Web sites like imoscar.com for a two-second joke?) However, while I loved it, I kept thinking about what a labyrinth of in-jokes the show has become, requiring you to have a pretty in-depth knowledge of the last two years to get half the references. While it works for people who are already fans like me, it sure makes me worry this show doesn't have a chance of making it to season 4 unless it gets a little more accessible - yet I don't want it sacrificing that unique "Arrested Development" vibe that makes it the best comedy on TV. Either way, I'm with it until it heads off into the sunset.

Lost - Last Wednesday's knock-you-on-your-ass-and-kick-your-teeth-in season premiere summed up every reason why this is my current favorite show on TV. The saga of the island castaways left us hanging back in May, but the first 10 minutes of the season premiere managed to be both fulfilling and left us with a dozen more questions -- the keys to any mystery. Who the hell is Desmond? What's going on? Heck if I know, but I can't wait to see where it goes. The biggest risk for this show is that it fizzles out in "X-Files"-style meandering, but right now "Lost" is at the peak of its powers.

The Simpsons - In its 439 or so seasons, I've consistently enjoyed "The Simpsons," ever since it premiered my senior year in high school (!!!). It's been up and down, but I've stuck with it, ignoring the naysayers who say the show stopped being funny at season 10 or whenever. But... this year, well, wife Avril and I are just not quite into it. There hasn't been a huge plunge in quality, but suddenly "The Simpsons" just seems really tired. Last night's episode was so lethargic that I barely felt interested in following it through (How many times has Marge gotten fed up with Homer now? And how can you mess up so badly a parody of as easy a target as "The OC"?). I'm not giving up the show, but it's suddenly no longer "must see TV" for us (particularly now that FOX has gutted their Sunday schedule so that "Arrested Development" is on a different night).

There's a few other shows I'll strive to catch when I can -- we're newly converted to "The OC," although so far season 3's episodes haven't been quite as cool as the first season DVDs we've been watching, and when they return next January, "Scrubs" and the campy jingoistic joys of "24" are high on our watching list.

By the by, if you're a fan of music, documentaries, or both, be sure to tune in to PBS tonight to catch the first half of "No Direction Home," Martin Scorsese's acclaimed documentary about Bob Dylan's early career. I watched the first half on DVD last week and it's great stuff - and I'm not the world's biggest Dylan fan. Scorsese does a great job though of establishing the context for Dylan and his amazing creative run in the early 1960s, and the filmmaking is phenomenal, cutting back and forth between revelatory mid-1960s footage of Dylan, interviews with many talking heads, and astoundingly erudite talks with Dylan himself (if you picture "mumblin' nasal Dylan," you'll be amazed at how, well, normal the man sounds here). It airs tonight ("check local listings" as they say for the time) with part two tomorrow night. Watch it.

COMICS: Comics Creators on Fantastic Four

COMICS: Comics Creators on Fantastic Four

I love books of all shapes and sizes, but I'm a total sucker for the behind-the-scenes comic book-history nonfiction genre. So I got a nice kick out of "Comics Creators on Fantastic Four," a book collecting a slew of interviews with writers and artists on Marvel's "Fantastic Four" series over the years, led by longtime comic writer and editor Tom DeFalco. This volume's a rewarding follow-up to last year's "Comics Creators on Spider-Man," which I also enjoyed a great deal.

The hefty tome goes from talks with co-creator Stan Lee, now in his 80s but still spunky, all the way up to recently departed writer Mark Waid, with stops at just about every era of the FF's 40+ year history. Like the "Spider-Man" tome, it's revealing, candid and trivia-packed stuff, full of both gossip and genuine insight into the creative process. The late Jack Kirby's talents are appreciated again and again, which makes up for him not being around to interview. Although John Byrne's been rather, um, temperamental in recent years, his interview on his excellent 1980s run on the comic is informative and good reading. I also really enjoyed Mark Waid's interview; the most recent great FF writer really goes into his storytelling process, and the controversial "firing and re-hiring" by former publisher Bill Jemas. The book isn't afraid to point out flaws in the comics or weak patches, which I also appreciate. It's a balanced look at the evolution of these four fascinating characters who helped start a revolution in comic books.

There's a few minor flaws -- sometimes the interviews do get repetitive (Each creator is asked what they think the Fantastic Four are about, and nearly to a man, they respond, "family."). And not every FF writer or artist is represented, although some were in the "Spider-Man" book as the introduction notes, and at closing in on 300 pages, there's only so many DeFalco could fit in here.

But overall, "Comics Creators on the Fantastic Four" is another sterling success by DeFalco and Titan Books, packed full of rare art and cover reproductions to break up all the words. Rumor has it next year's tome will be an "X-Men" volume to tie in with the release of "X-Men 3." If it's as good fun as these two, I can't wait.

LIFE: Holiday snaps

LIFE: Holiday snaps

So here's a photographic tour of our weekend adventure to the wild remote southwesternmost corner of Oregon, one of the more secluded areas of the West Coast. Brookings, where we spent most of our time, is tucked right on the edge of the Oregon/California border. You're a good 3-4 hour drive from a city of any major size, but it's a gorgeous area, with the endless Pacific Ocean on one side, the craggy wilderness of the Siskiyou National Forest on the other.


One of the wacky roadside tourist stops you can find on Highway 101 is the enjoyably kitschy Prehistoric Gardens, a roadside rain forest park that features giant life-size colorful statues of dinosaurs created by an area eccentric. Peter loved the dinosaurs and it was a fine pit stop on our journey south, cheap enough at $14 for all three of us.


Once we got to Brookings we camped out for two nights at Harris Beach State Park, an excellent campground with a trail down to the beach. Peter enjoyed running up and down and exploring. He didn't enjoy his first taste of sea kelp, though.


We also took a trek over to the California side to see the redwoods, always one of my favorite sights on God's green earth. We detoured near Crescent City to visit an excellent roadside grove boasting dozens of the giants (redwoods always seem even more impressive in groups). Words can't really describe the redwoods. It's like being in a tree church, and always leaves me awed in all the right ways.


A Brookings sunset.


On the way back, I had one of my inspirations. Instead of driving back up the way we came, why not take this road on the map that apparently cuts cross-country through the Siskiyou National Forest? Never go back the way you came if you can help it, by gum. So we went on a winding, epic journey that only covered 70 miles, but took more than 3 hours to drive. You see, as we moved east from the coast, the road became narrower and narrower, eventually becoming a tiny one-lane road winding through green hillsides and up ever steeper and higher mountaintops. Every once in a while, you'd come across a full logging truck screaming toward you from the other direction (good to get the heart pumping), but otherwise, no sign of life.
At about 40 miles, I started regretting the side trip, but because I am a manly man, turning around wasn't an option. That's when we saw the "Road Closed - DETOUR" sign, which took us on a gravel road so narrow it should've been a hiking trail. If we thought the road was steep before, this topped it. You had utterly amazing vistas like the one seen above; at the same time I was clutching the wheel with all my power as I went around switchback curve around switchback curve around switchback curve so many times I didn't know which end was up. Egad. (Thank the lord, Peter fell asleep during this part of the drive.) Finally, after what felt like three days of this, we popped out on a paved road and turned out to be only 15 minutes from Grants Pass and Interstate 5. All in all, it was a fantastic side trip, through some of the most amazingly raw and unspoiled woods I've seen, but I never ever want to drive that road again.


So it was at that point I gave up driving, and let Peter take the wheel!

CONTEST: And lo, there was a winner!

CONTEST: And lo, there was a winner!

Oh yeah, that's right, I had a contest! Blame post-camping weekend daze for the delay in announcing the winners of my Super Soundtrack CD Giveaway. As you might recall, I asked you to e-mail me your favorite use of music in a movie, and as a prize, you'd get a free soundtrack CD from my mammoth CD collection I'm desperately trying to reduce. My thanks to all who entered.

So I picked a runner-up, and that had to be my man and fellow blogger Greg Burgas, who overwhelmed with sheer volume of responses - he sent FIVE answers in an attempt to utterly unman me, and I had to give a shout-out to his top pick:

"Eurotrip. What's that, you say? Okay, maybe others have used music better, but I just love how the song "Scottie Doesn't Know" is used in this movie. If you haven't seen it (and you really should, because it's very funny), the lead (a low-rent Freddie Prinze Jr.) is dating the obligatory hot chick, and when he goes to a high school graduation party, the band starts playing this song, which is all about the lead singer boning the girl behind the lead's (Scott) back. She gets up on stage and does some dirty dancing with the singer, effectively ending the relationship. He goes off to Europe to find his hot pen pal, and the song is playing EVERYWHERE. It's an international sensation! We get a punk version, a disco version, people humming it on the street - it's very clever. It's a catchy song, too, and I just love how the film makers kept bringing it back. Excellent. I know I win. Come on, it's EUROTRIP!"

I did see "Eurotrip" and got many guilty laffs out of it, and I have to admire Greg's low-culture mojo here for going for the sex-comedy romp. So Greg gets his choice of either the soundtrack to the movie "Dead Man Walking," which includes great rootsy stuff by Johnny Cash, Eddie Vedder, Steve Earle and more, or the soundtrack to the movie "Kids" by Folk Implosion, which includes one of my personal favorite singles of the '90s, "Natural One." Take your pick, Greg, and let me know!

But when it came to the winner, there wasn't much choice for me. The first prize winner came from my old pal Rob Rogers:

"My vote is this: The scene in "Almost Famous" where the band, Patrick Fugit and everyone else is on the tour bus. It's after the big fight and one by one, everyone starts singing Elton John's "Tiny Dancer." To me, it captured the emotional center of the film better than any line of dialogue or action from any character. It made me a little emotional. And it made me like an Elton John song. Don't get me wrong, I respect him as a songwriter, but I just don't get into his music that much. But the scene played everything perfectly because of the right choice of song."

Rob knows I'm a huge Cameron Crowe fan (and in fact spent an entire post blogging about "Almost Famous" a while back), so he gets points for sucking up, but also I'd have to put that particular scene high in any list of my own favorite movie music moments. That scene, like much of "Almost Famous," could so easily have tipped over into sappy melodrama, yet Crowe keeps it honest and true. It's suffused with a fan's love for music and Rob's astute picking of it ensures he gets this fabulous Ennio Morricone soundtrack CD! Now don't say I never gave you anything.

Honorable mentions as well to Richie, Jim, Logan and Gary, who all came oh-so-close. Thanks dudes!

We're off to the Oregon Coast for a belated Labor Day weekend camping trip, so no posting until Tuesday or so.

Doesn't anyone want to enter my Swell Soundtrack Giveaway? Free stuff, dammit! I am so done with contests, I'm just not popular enough to pull it off. Anyway, the deadline is coming Monday if anyone actually cares.

In conclusion to carry in your heart in my absence, a photo of Manimal.

MOVIES: Don't "Hitch" a ride with this "Guide"

MOVIES: Don't "Hitch" a ride with this "Guide"

Honestly, I rarely go into watching a movie hoping it will suck. Life's too short to spend watching crap, so that's why I rarely review stuff I just know I won't like (hence no 'XXX 2: State of the Union' review for me). What really stinks is when a movie you're kinda hoping will be good is not. "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" is one whopping big disappointment. It mangles most of what I loved best about Douglas Adams' classic comic science fiction novel, yet it also fails in trying to win over new fans. It jettisons wit for clichéd Hollywood chase scenes and love stories.

I dunno - maybe the time for a "Hitchhiker's" movie is past. It does seem a bit of its time to me, in the pre-Internet early 1980s when I first read it. But it's still a wonderfully funny book (originally a radio serial), as hapless Arthur Dent and alien Ford Prefect escape the demolition of Earth for wild adventures in a surreal, comic universe as they search for the big question - "what's it all about?"

First-time director Garth Jennings manages to do OK with the first 20 minutes or so of the flick — the Earth being destroyed is kind of hard to mess up too much — but as soon as the action moves into outer space, the whole affair takes on the moldy tones of a failed "Saturday Night Live" sci-fi parody, with mediocre effects and choppy editing. "Hitchhiker's" is rushed and sloppy - and it didn't have to be. Big chunks of the novel are chopped out and replaced with banal scenes (an entirely new character played by John Malkovich is added that serves little or no purpose).

Here's a good example of the movie's tone vs. the book, with one of my favorite little exchanges early on in the novel:
"But Mr. Dent, the plans have been available in the local planning office for the last nine month."
"Oh yes, well as soon as I heard I went straight round to see them, yesterday afternoon. You hadn't exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them had you? I mean like actually telling anybody or anything."
"But the plans were on display ..."
"On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them."
"That's the display department."
"With a torch."
"Ah, well the lights had probably gone."
"So had the stairs."
"But look, you found the notice didn't you?"
"Yes," said Arthur, "yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying Beware of the Leopard."

Here's the same sequence, more or less, in the movie:
"The plans were on display."
"They were in a cellar!"

Now, I know a movie's going to have considerable changes from its source, yadda yadda. I don't mind if it captures the spirit of the work, such as Peter Jackson's "Lord of the Rings." But the "Hitchhiker's" movie only fitfully does. The gentle wit, rambling digressions and much of the "guide" itself are gone (they tell you a towel is important for interstellar hitchhikers, but they never even tell you why - the blasphemy!).

The plot wasn't the point with "Hitchhiker's", but the filmmakers don't seem to understand that. About halfway through it becomes a chase movie starring the Vogons vs. the heroes. And don't get me started on the ending, which utterly tears apart the book to graft on an unconvincing love story for Arthur and Trillian and manages to recreate the entire Earth as it was, people and all, with no lasting reprecussions.


There are parts of the movie that work well -- the casting is mostly adequate. Martin Freeman from TV's "The Office" portrays Arthur Dent's nebbishy everyman well, and while Mos Def is an ethnically different Ford Prefect, he's solid. Alan Rickman's snide voice is perfect for the depressed Marvin the Robot. The highlight is Sam Rockwell doing a cowboy rock-star turn as Zaphod Beeblebrox. His character's two heads in the book are reworked for the screen in a rather silly and incomprehensible way, but basically the guy's still the same madman. Rockwell has got more energy than anyone else in the movie, while everyone else seems a tad subdued. None of the actors really embarrass themselves, though.

That responsibility goes to the eviscerated script and Jennings' "can you see how much money I'm spending" direction. Y'know, the old BBC television series of the 1980s had a special effects budget of about $22.50, but somehow seems more sincere and funny than this overblown muddle. I've been hard on "Hitchhiker's," I know, and I'll admit there are many worse movies out there than this. But compared to its beloved source, it's a pale, lifeless imitation.
** of four

MOVIES: 'Crash'

MOVIES: 'Crash'

You see a young black guy walking down the sidewalk toward you. What do you do?

Writer/director Paul Haggis’ “Crash” asks this and many other tricky questions about who we are and how we see others. It’s a sprawling, melodramatic epic, full of people at their worst and, occasionally, at their best.

It’s also one of the best movies I’ve seen this year.

“Crash” follows the lives of several different people in Los Angeles over 36 hours. We meet in quick succession several people — a racist white cop, an affluent black TV producer and his wife, a grandstanding carjacker/philosopher, a humble Hispanic locksmith, a frustrated Arab store owner, the wealthy, isolated Los Angeles district attorney and his uptight wife — and we watch as everyone lives in their own little isolated racial and cultural bubbles, interacting mostly only in fear and distrust.

The “crashes” of the title are both literal and psychological, as almost every character is forced to confront hard truths about themselves. Only gradually do we learn how they all come together.

The cast of actors is enormous — Sandra Bullock, Matt Dillon, Don Cheadle, rapper Ludacris, Brendan Fraser, Thandie Newton, Terrence Howard, Ryan Phillipe and even Tony Danza. Many of the cast, including Dillon as an angry, racist cop and a startlingly raw Bullock, give what might just be the best performances of their careers.

“Crash” is an in-your-face, brutal movie that doesn’t pull punches. It’s not comfort food. The characters are all broad stereotypes, yet that’s the point. In “Crash,” Haggis is using these unsubtle characters to tell us something about how we treat each other. Haggis’ characters are intolerant, yet they’re also shown with sympathy.

In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina and America’s ongoing racial divisions, it’s a true movie for our times. It has the weight and power of a modern fable.

Haggis was also the writer of one of 2004’s best films, “Million Dollar Baby.” As a director, he’s astonishingly confident, juggling his many characters and storylines with ease. Only occasionally does his foot slip and things get a bit hard to follow.

Is “Crash” manipulative? Absolutely, but in a way that never makes you feel cheated.

“Crash” sticks with you long after the final images fade from the screen. It’s meant to cause arguments, debate and thought. There are too few movies these days that can do that and also work as cracklingly good entertainment.
**** of four

LIFE: All hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster

LIFE: All hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster

So of course you know about the Flying Spaghetti Monster, right? The noodly wonder that created life, the universe and everything? The Internet sensation that'll get you more than half a million hits if you pop it into Google?

Well, turns out the fellow behind that site, Bobby Henderson, is from right here in my hometown in Oregon, so I got to visit with him and do a profile of his pasta-fied religious movement for the paper. Read it over here and get converted.

And by the by, don't forget to check out my Swell Soundtrack Giveaway, which ends next Monday. Get in on the action!